i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
