Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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