I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
