If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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