girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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