Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
