every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
