That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
