Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
