Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
