SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
