life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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