just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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