Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
