So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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