i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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