is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
