It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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