I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
