U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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