So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
