they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Pants are for mortals
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
