So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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