Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
