Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
