Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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