That's intense
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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