I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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