so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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