My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Pooping to opera.
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