It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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