You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
