Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
