He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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