Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize