I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
