dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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