i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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