3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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