Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
sex in a hospital.. check
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize