it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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