Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
