Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
