So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
