2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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