just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
