it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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