six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
