Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
