how can u be prego again
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
