Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
