I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
