I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
