Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
