He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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