So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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