What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
