morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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