Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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