The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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