i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize