I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
