she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
